With Christmas hard on our heels we can start to look forward to cosy nights in by a roaring fire, or if your house is anything like mine, balled up in a blanket leaning heavily against a radiator. We tend to forget what winter was like the last time around and look back on it with rose tinted spectacles, forgetting all the accidents we had slipping on the ice or while we were standing on a stool trying to attach mistletoe to the ceiling.

Christmas is a particularly bad time for accidents but death lurks in every shadow. For example, 67,000 people receive injuries every year opening their lunch, be that their sandwiches, canned drinks or get the wrapper off a ready meal. 150 people stab themselves every day trying to lever lids or get into food packaging with a knife.

My brother in law is afraid of buttons, little does he know what damage the tea cosy is capable of! As many as 37 people a year are hurt badly enough to require hospital treatment. Most were scalds where people had tried to pick up their pots by the cloth rather than the handle, the rest from slipping on them as they lay in wait on slippy kitchen floors.

You might want to start filling out a claim form for injuries compensation against your tailor as 5310 people were hurt in 2002 putting their trousers on. Socks and tights took out another 11,700. Most of the damage was caused by hurried dressing the rest were lost to tripping in messy bedrooms.

Shoes are equally evil, 379,000 injuries can be directly attributed to these hurt engines. But you can’t trust anything. Hairbrushes account for 1394 hospital visits. Vegetables might ostensibly be good for your health but try telling that to the 14,150 people they hurt in a year.

And don’t think that sitting in one place and not moving about too much is going to help. My brother is among the 43,173 who have been taken to accident and emergency after battling sofas. The rest of the lounge room set is just as hostile, armchairs tuck up 15,355 unwary householders while the pouffe does for a further 16,399. One can only imagine the horror if they ever started to consolidate their mutual hatred of the human race. They should be our domestic overlords!

Of course some people ask for everything they get. Take the student who clogged up his dough maker so tried to pull the mixture out without disconnecting the machine from the mains. Once the arm was free it broke his in four places. Once the bones were more or less knit a concerned friend (or should that be fiend?) asked how he could possibly have done it. He was good enough to demonstrate. Breaking his arm once again.

Apple are no stranger to legal battles, having been involved in a huge number of them over the last 10 years. One of their bigger suits, a $625.5million case bought against them by Mirror Worlds in 2008, looks like it could be about to be settled in favour of the claimant.

Mirror Worlds sued the California company for patent infringement, accusing the iPod, iPhone and Mac’s OS X operating system of infringing on patents covering methods of displaying documents and information on a computer screen. Reports suggest the trial focused on the Time Machine and Spotlight features of Mac OS X, as well as highlighting elements of the Cover Flow feature.

As you might expect, Apple have disputed the suit, claiming that Mirror Worlds will be triple dipping if it wins each of the three patent infringement suits.

Post by Simon, who works for a company specialising in business continuity, cloud computing and IT strategy.

Perhaps the coolest prize currently doing the rounds is the Bestival 2009 fancy dress competition. Design and make your own costume, send in some pictures, and if successful, win entry to the festival for life! If you are intending to go to next week‘s festival of music and merriment on the Isle of Wight, make sure you enter the fancy dress contest!

Bestival 2009 features Lily Allen for the first time in three years, who will be performing on stage on Saturday evening. Not only will she be one of the headliners and most awaited acts, but those who attended in 2006 will remember her ‘bunny’ costume with her large floppy pink ears. This costume stole the show and made her a massive hit with the crowd. Such was her embracing of the spirit of Bestival, she has enthusiastically agreed to judge this year’s fancy dress costume competition.

If you wish to enter, all you have to do is get creative and make your costume and then send in a picture to the following address: fancydress@bestival.net. The theme for this year is a ‘Space Odditity’, so come on all you budding Barbarellas and charming Chewbaccas get busy with the glue and sticky back plastic! Lily will then pick the top five entrants each month, before eventually selecting a winner. If that happens to be you, then you can plan to attend the Bestival free of charge for the rest of your life. Wow!

Fonejacker is the protagonist in the homonymous show about a masked prank caller; in this fictional show, members of the public are called by actor Kayvan Novak, while impersonating different characters. Reminiscent to Monty Python, the show includes pictures of people animated with funny cut-out mouths. Undercover filming is used throughout the show, depicting the Fonejacker making a call from the street to a company nearby. The Fonejacker always uses sunglasses and wears a red and white balaclava - except in the Pilot, where it was black.

While Kayvan Novak’s figure is kept anonymous by the Fonejacker costume, he can be clearly seen during Mr. Doovdé’s calls, advertising DVD players and dfs. as a model.

Each episode start in similar fashion, with a definition of “fonejack” (to seize control of a telephone conversation by farce esp - to divert it from reason and logic), followed with a scene where Mr Doovdé calls Directory Enquires from an American payphone. Rather than Mr Doovdé, it was Mike who headlined the fifth episode.

The last episode of series 1 revealed that two callers had previously been fonejacked by Terry, implying that phone jacker does not tell the victim the call was a joke. Some Fonejacks are not broadcast, since those two callers hadn’t been seen in other episodes.

Channel 4 runs a show called Comedy Lab centered on the new comic talent; this is where Fonejacker’s pilot first aired, in 2006. Since it was so successful, the show was given a six-part series in October 2006, which would get broadcast on E4 from April next year. A Christmas Special featuring a short version of the pilot was broadcast on December 29, 2006; it was titled Fonejacker’s Christmas Message. The Fonejacker Christmas special finished with the following message: Coming April 2007 - Don’t Pick Up The Phone.

Starting in March, a thirty second advert started airing on E4 and Channel 4, comprising clips of the show’s pilot. When April came, not only the show wasn’t aired, but it was put on hold for undisclosed reasons, False rumors began spreading that broadcast would start June 7 2007. After this, rumours spread that the show would start on June 7 2007, which was also untrue. Even though fans started feeling there would be no show, new trailers got aired in June. The clips showed the Fonejacker in his own flat performing various calls, and a television tuned into the news reporting “new sightings of the Fonejacker”. The new adverts ended with the catchphrase Don’t Pick Up The Phone, followed with the same E4 webpage. Just a few days had gone by, and a newer trailer was introduced.

It was only a few hours before the first show, and the Fonejacker struck: he called as Terry Tibbs into Big Brother’s Little Brother to chat with a girl called Carrie about a Rolls Royce. However, there was no mention of Fonejacker as presenter Dermot O’Leary seemed confused. Just below E4’s on-screen graphic, a sign was displayed throughout the night stating “Fonejacker Tonight 10-30”, as part of its advertising.

The fan site has many soundboards, im quite particular to phone jacker sound boards that features terry tibbs, this one always makes me giggle.

On July 5, 2007 at 10-30pm the first Fonejacker show was broadcast, and it was the first edition to use heavy profanity.Series two aired on September 9, 2008. Currently, one does not know if a third Fonejacker series will be commissioned.

It is estimated that around 10,000 polish women have come to Britain to take advantage of the National Health Service and get abortions.

Termination of pregnancies is illegal in Poland so women have been taking temporary work in Britain in order to receive a National Insurance number. They are then able to register with a G.P. and receive and abortion or be provided with an abortion pill.

It is estimated that this has cost the NHS a staggering £10 million. The practice is well publicised on Polish internet sites which provide advice to those who may want an abortion.

The British abortion limit of 24 weeks is much longer than that in many other European countries where it is 12 weeks. This makes Britain a favoured destination.

Audi has now confirmed that they will be releasing a new electric car in the not to near future. A statement for audi states:

Peter Schwarzenbauer, who sits on the management board at Ingolstadt, told Autocar “We will offer a pure electric car” at last week’s Paris motor show.

Schwarzenbauer was responding to rumours that Mini is planning an electric version of the Cooper for the LA motor show in November.

He went on to reveal that the small electric Audi “will not be based on the A1”, the firm’s premium supermini, which was previewed by a concept car in Paris.

Well I hope they can make a real good effort of this, as it will burst the car leasing economy to an all time high, as electric motors will dramatically drop the price.

Here we have the phone that does so much more than just call a phone number. The new generation of the Iphone is here and just look what they have to offer.

Junk food could potentially be completely outlawed in the near future as the government are currently processing a legislation that will help teach young children about a healthy, balanced diet. Junk food has always been a part of English school culture but in recent years we have seen some radical improvements to the healthy food promise that the government have been targeting. Jamie Oliver is one of many who have been trying to change how local school’s think and what they serve out for lunch.

There has been an incredible increase of young children having to turn to cosmetic surgery because of their un-healthy diets. Liberal Democrat Jenny Randerson first introduced a committee in April 2008 to consider and report on the general principals of a measure which was presented by the liberal party.

After considering the measure that was currently in place at local schools the report said that healthy eating diets are far too varied. They need to be focused and direct. This is under the assembly government’s £8.4M healthy eating in schools pilot scheme called, ‘Appetite for Life’.

Fears have grown for house owners and estate agent as house prices are again falling. Suring August we have seem the lowest slump of new mortgages for quite a while. Estate agents have reported that even potential buyers are performing a wait and see procedure as the government to announce its intentions over stamp duty after intense speculation that it could be scrapped for a time to boost the housing market.

We have ultimatley seen a 15% slump in prices this year and it is set to continue with a 12% slump for next year.